Wednesday, September 2, 2009
story as told in flash
noted problems: climax of house burning down not actually related to dog problem; not intense enough. also, pigeons may be useless.
climax MUST be girl's realization of what death is: permanent, irreversible. perhaps she looks at the dog, acting, whatever. but this bit must be obvious.
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I love that she throws dog food on him! I can totally see someone actually doing that in such a situation.
ReplyDeleteYou're right though, the house burning down seems like a strange climax to the rest of the story. Maybe you could let her escape out of the fire, but having to leave the dog's body behind because she wouldn't be able to flee quickly enough. Then when the fire is over, she goes back to look for him, and only finds a scorched carcass... at which point she can no longer deny he's dead. That might get too long though, I don't know!
P.S. I'm Arie, just so you know. :P
interesting idea: destroy the physical body, which = undeniable change. I don't think she'd leave his body alone though, so maybe it might be something she accidentally does to the dog, like electrifying the fur off. might be a bit too grotesque though, mutilation and carcasses haha.
ReplyDeletestill, something to chew on! thanks. :D
Oh, so this is what it is about!
ReplyDeleteI really really love the idea, it's pretty sad, but I like how the girl does everything she can to revive the dog. I'm not sure about, I kinda like the fire, it shows that she really did EVERYTHING she could and that death is irreversible no matter how hard you try.